My God, My God, Why Have You Forsaken Me?

Note added 12/10/06: This is a poem I wrote in the late summer of 1996, based on some thoughts I had about Jesus on the cross.

After Jesus cried out he realized it was written in the Psalms that he would do that. And so, when God the Father had to be separate so Jesus couldn’t be comforted by God’s presence, Jesus was comforted by God’s Word and through it regained his confidence that he was who he thought he was. And that he was doing God’s will.

My God, My God, Why Have You Forsaken Me?
(He understands our weaknesses; he was tested, just as we are)

You have always been there for me
But now when I need you most
I cannot see your face.

I thought you’d be here;
must I do this alone,
the greatest trial
of my life?

I feel so vulnerable
helpless and weak
Where is Your strength
perfected in my weakness?
Where is Your love
that is stronger than death?

Is there no other way?
the pain is so great
I do not know
If I will survive.

Did I cause this to happen?
Did I leave You first?
I would rather die
than forsake You.

Yet why do I think
if I saw You now
I’d see anger in Your face
and a knife in Your hand?

How can I ask
without hurting You
the reason why
You hurt me so?

I don’t know
whether I should ask
but the pain is so great
I cannot hold back.

Now it is done
for all to hear.
Perhaps I have failed You
Forgive me, Lord.

No voice breaks the silence
but the light returns
You expected this
You wrote my words down
Centuries ago.

Your face is not here
but your Word in my heart
has assured me of Your love.
It is the light in my darkness
the lamp for my feet.

I have enough to keep going
for I now understand
that when you seem absent
you hold me the closest;
my step is secure
You won’t let me fail.

I thought I was lost
that my faith was so little
but the faith I had
was enough for you.

All you desire
is my eyes fixed on You
that I keep looking
even when You seem gone.

You have met my need
You have brought me peace
You have made me certain
that You still love me.

Though You are killing me
I will trust in You.
May your name be praised
from the rising of the sun
to its going down.