I tapered down my Olanzapine over the last two weeks. As of yesterday my current psychiatrist ok’d me to stop taking at, as long as I take some with me on my upcoming trip (Feb 1 – 9 to England), just in case I need it. So I made it – I am well enough to be off medication again – for now, at least. My husband said to the psychiatrist yesterday that he feels I am as well as I was last summer, before any questions arose about my mental health. I feel the same way.
The psychiatrist, as expected, discussed the benefits of being on a long-term mood stabilizer. At this point, having had only one episode in the last 21 years, I’d rather see how things go without mental health medication. If they don’t go well then I will reconsider. I appreciate greatly that my husband understands my desire not to be on a ‘just in case’ medication given the infrequency of my illness over the last 2 decades. [I am not recommending against short-term or long-term mental health medication for anyone else; it should be a personal choice taking all things into consideration, especially frequency of episodes]
I spoke to another psychiatrist for the first time yesterday. She was very nice. She said she would have advised me to stay on medication for 6 months to a year before going off but she understands that I already have stopped. She is joint board-certified in holistic medicine as well as psychiatry and she recommended some supplements. I might take some but perhaps will not mess with my current regime until my trip is over.
I’m also looking for a therapist and have a (remote) first appointment with one on Friday. After my two episodes in 1996 and 2000 I felt strongly that I should find a therapist I trust who could help me navigate the situation if I started to get ill again. I was able to find one and also had a psychiatrist I liked, back then. I stopped seeing the psychiatrist in 2004 because he said there was no point now I was off medication. I kept seeing the therapist for many years.
Then we moved to New York in 2016 and I no longer had a therapist or a psychiatrist. It broke my plan but I had been well for so long, that finding one didn’t seem urgent. Also it was not going to be easy and it was going to cost a lot – I quickly discovered most of them were ‘out-of-network’ with all the major health insurance companies here. Finding a gastroenterologist was urgent because of my Crohn’s Disease and that was harrowing enough. The first one I chose seemed fine at first but then he someone who stopped very shortly after beginning my first colonoscopy with him, claiming aftewards that I was too inflamed to continue. This caused me months of stress – was it him? or was I way worse than before? – until I found a different gastroenterologist who happily did one for me and said, yes, I was inflamed, but it went fine.
I also had issues with my first PCP here who was over-eager to prescribe and at one point prescribed something which was not advised for Crohn’s Disease. Even though another doctor switched the specific prescription I had weeks of pain from antibiotics treatment initiated by her which in hindsight was most likely unnecessary. I have a PCP I like now, but it has not been easy for me to find new doctors in New York to replace trusted ones I had in Illinois. So that has not made me eager to search for a psychiatrist – what would I even have said to them, since I had no current symptoms and had not been seeing one for well over a decade? And did not want to be on mental health medication?
Anyway I will see how things to from here on out. Hopefully in a few days I will have a therapist again. And it seems that I have the choice of two psychiatrists I can work with, but I’m hoping my need for them will be greatly lessened from now on.