EDITED TO UPDATE AS OF 7:30am DEC 17 , 2021: Anyway today Steve & I have the 2nd visit with my new psychiatrist. As best I can tell we were both feeling better yesterday.
EDITED TO UPDATE AS OF 12PM DEC 15, 2021:Well it has been a crushing disappointment but evidently (sigh) it’s time to talk about meds – I have a meeting in 3 hrs to do that. Pray for me! I’ll update more later.
(I suggest you don’t take anytihng else on here too seriously in view of updates – I will sort out later excuse typos)
It’s 21 years today! Since my last intervention for acute mental illness. I haven’t had a serious recurrence since I got over that episode.
Also it’s also over 18 years since I last took medication for mental illness. I tapered down slowly and carefully with my doctor and spouse’s consent. If you are on mental health meds please don’t go off precipitously or without informed consent.
I’m not sure why it was so important for me not to be on medication. It wasn’t because I was denying I was ill. I did accept the diagnosis even though it was very to accept emotionally as well as cognitively.
Anyway, I experienced two acute psychotic episodes of mental illness (in 1996 and 2000). Soon after the first one peaked I wrote this poem about it. A few months later I wrote about it again. I’m glad I wrote those because there are details in there I wouldn’t have remembered. I do basically remember all it though, except for the few hours I missed because of medication-induced memory loss.
I wrote about my second episode here.
My mental illness has put all sorts of restrictions on my life even though I have mostly been well. I also was diagnosed in 2007 with Crohn’s Disease – another life-long condition that has put restrictions on my life. Unlike my mental illness, with Crohn’s I am on medication and have symptoms every day. It seems a bit much to have two life-long conditions but, at least I only have symptoms of one of them to contend with daily, practically speaking.
I don’t know when it was but God gave me this verse: “The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places.” – Psalm 16:5 – about how it can be ok to live with restrictions. As long as we don’t fight against the boundaries – since that will only make us unhappy. (Actually no, though, that’s not quite right – I’ll need to come back to this – I feel it’s an important verse for me somehow)
Anyway I added this page to my website recently that gathers my mental health writing together.