I wrote this for the September 1997 issue of our local Mother of Preschoolers Newsletter.
Welcome to a new year of MOPS! This year I’m going to write about specific Bible passages in the hope that we can find some “hidden treasure” in them.
I’m going to begin with an account of one time Jesus was a house guest of Martha and her sister Mary. This is taken from Luke 10:38-41 (the New International Version of the Bible):
“As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” “
I’m sure Martha was pleased to invite Jesus to her home but on the other hand that also meant a lot of work for her. It probably was not easy to add that to her other responsibilities. And not only that, but Martha is having to do the work alone. She doesn’t expect Jesus to help, but she is quite annoyed that Mary isn’t helping. Interestingly, by her words to Jesus, she implies that if Mary had been helping she would have been quite happy. I think we often find that the point at which we become unhappy about a situation is when we look at the grass next door and notice that it is greener than ours; we suddenly find out that our coworker who does the same work is paid more than us; or we find out that our husband does less around the house or with the children than the husbands of our friends. But I believe it’s really important to find contentment in our own situation and be thankful for all the good things we do have and not be unsettled by every hint that someone else has it a little better than we do. In fact this is such an important principle that it is the tenth commandment: “You shall not covet anything that belongs to your neighbor” (Exodus 20:14). I think it would have been best if Martha had explained her expectations to Mary at the beginning instead of expecting Mary to help and then getting frustrated when she didn’t. This happens a lot in marriage – because our husband knows us well we expect him to be a mind-reader. But it’s always better to say what we would like up front, rather than wait and get angry when he doesn’t guess without being told!
I’m amused by how certain Martha is that she has knows what the problem is: Mary! Martha is so certain that she tells Jesus “Tell her to help me!” It’s often the case that we assume someone else or our circumstances are responsible for our problems. But it’s when we recognize our own contribution to our problems that we can begin to do something about them. The only thing we truly have control over is ourselves; we are heading for disappointment if we assume we will be able to change our circumstances or any other person (especially our husband!).
Jesus, as usual, looks beyond the specific request of Martha and addresses Martha’s underlying problem. Jesus could have done what Martha said and she would perhaps have been delighted in the short term but that would not have helped her in the longer term; so instead of doing that he tells her something which might not sound very “supportive” but which is the truth she needs to hear. We can’t see his face but I’m sure there was no harshness in the way he said it; I’m sure he said it gently and respectfully. And since we know from elsewhere that they remained good friends, it did not hurt the relationship.
So Jesus challenges Martha to rethink her priorities radically and points out that a simpler approach would be sufficient. He says, to listen to him and be with him is better than running around cooking him a big meal – sandwiches or take-out would be fine! The meal they eat would be quickly forgotten but the time they spend together would never be forgotten. Martha had assumed, without asking, that it was necessary to prepare a big meal for Jesus. Sometimes we assume we know what another person wants and do it and then get angry when they don’t seem as grateful as we expect them to be! Well, we could have saved ourselves a lot of work and frustration had we asked them in the first place. And it’s always wise to consider whether a simple solution might work as well as an elaborate one.
While I believe that Jesus was making the point that it is better to be with people than to rush around doing things they didn’t even ask for, I also believe that being with Jesus specifically and listening to his words can have a profound effect upon our lives. Which is why I try to spend time regularly reading the Bible and in prayer, talking with God, no matter how much else I have to do. Let’s take time to read the gospels (i.e. Matthew, Mark, Luke and John), our most reliable accounts of what Jesus said and did, and think about how his words might have relevance for our own lives, today. Let’s imagine ourselves in the stories and consider what Jesus would say to us; and then let’s do whatever he tells us.