This is a copy of my latest post on the Communitas Collective blog
A couple of weeks ago, in the foyer of a chapel, I met Pete Rollins for the first time. “I’m here today because I really want to hear you speak” I said to him “but I’m not going into the service because I don’t do worship”.
“Neither do I, usually”, he replied with a friendly smile as he went into the service. Along with everyone else except me.
I loved his response. In effect I’d said “I’m an outsider here” and he’d replied “me too.” There’s nothing more reassuring an outsider can hear, especially if it’s from a ‘leader’ who surely is as ‘inside’ as it’s possible to be! In fact my picture of Jesus (perhaps imaginary) based on the Bible stories about him has him responding exactly like this to outsiders.
But would the leader of a faith community ‘bend the truth’ in order to be relational? That didn’t seem right even though it would be very kind. Perhaps he was simply being honest. Yet how could it be true that the leader of a faith community didn’t (usually) do worship?
I definitely don’t do worship. The main reason is that it feels like a ‘lie’ to say things implying I love God and believe in God when I’m far from sure God even exists. A few days before I met Pete I remembered another reason. Even when I did believe, my memory of worship is that it made me feel happy while I was participating in it and I believed I was doing something beneficial. Yet it didn’t actually change me. So I was deluding myself. I would rather spend that time doing something which demonstrably made the world a little bit better. (I’m sharing my own experience here. I’m not saying worship is that way for everyone)
Pete’s talk followed immediately after the chapel service. When I heard him I understood he really had meant what he said about worship. At least, worship as it is often engaged in in contemporary evangelical circles.
Pete began by quoting Marx’ comments about religion being the opium of the people. Approvingly! Then he explained, the problem with the way worship is often done is that it becomes an escape from the suffering in our lives, rather than helping us confront it and come to terms with it.
Pete talked about what he thought worship should be and do. It should express the full range of emotions (not just “Jesus is my boyfriend”) so people can confront the trauma in their lives in a safe, ritualized communal way. When the emotions are overwhelming the worship leaders can express the emotions for us. Ministers and priests need to be honest about their own crises and doubts otherwise they help us ‘run away’ from ours.
Pete validated doubt as part of the Christian experience. He also said if you believe, it will show because God will be transforming your reality, your material existence.
And he said people find God (and are helped in coming to terms with their own suffering) through sharing stories with each other.
The last thing I expected when I decided to go hear Pete was that he’d agree with some of my concerns about worship. That was awesome. I’m very glad I went!
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