Love is the most excellent way

One of our primary responsibilities as Moms is to teach our children; but are there things we can learn from them, too? Evidently Jesus thought so: on one occasion he said to his disciples: ” I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

There certainly are things I observe in my children which I would like to emulate. I love their spontaneity – their ability to focus on the moment in hand and to enjoy it. Children focus on what they are doing – they don’t get distracted by anxiety about tomorrow or yesterday’s failures or mistakes. Children don’t worry; they assume we’ll take care of them and trust us to do so. Although we do have responsibilities and do need to plan ahead to some extent, how many of us go beyond that and get caught up in worrying about the future? Jesus said that we ought not to worry about tomorrow because God – who is our Heavenly Father – knows what we need and will take care of us. I would like to “live in the moment” as much as my young children do.

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“We are not under law, but under grace”. Someone said that to me recently (see Romans 6) and it’s been a great help to me. I say it to myself every time I find myself not living up to my own expectations. I may have great plans for today, but somehow I just don’t get my act together and I can’t get through my list of to-dos. Or I buy something to cook for dinner, but the kids are fussy and I can’t quite get myself into the kitchen to cook it today, with one little one clinging onto my legs and the other one saying incessantly, “Mom, Mom, MOM…”!

I also want to parent by grace, not by law. I don’t want to rule over my children like a tyrant, although I do need them to understand that there are times when they must do as I say. I want to have fun with them and be their friend, as well as their Mom. I want to be able to break my own rules sometimes and not enforce punishment, if I see that they are really having a hard day. I often hear things to the effect, “If you are not consistent with your children, they will not listen to you”. Perhaps, but I tend to think that children will test their boundaries whether you enforce them 90% or 100% of the time (isn’t this their favorite thing to do?)

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