Introduction

I believe that God wants us to trust Him with the parts of our lives over which we have no control and to make responsible choices in the parts where we have control. The believers in the New Testament churches underwent a lot of suffering, so there is much written there about how to understand and handle suffering. I do believe that emotional pain is a form of suffering which is partly under our control and that God calls us to have a certain attitude about suffering and to respond to it in righteous rather than sinful ways (the strength and power to do this comes from Him, not us).

Suffering

First of all, we need to remember that Jesus warned his disciples to expect trouble in their lives:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

Paul tells us in the following passage how he suffered in some unspecified way and God did not take away his suffering although he asked Him repeatedly:

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” (2 Corinthians 12:7-9)

God allowed Job to suffer although Job had done nothing wrong:

Then the LORD said to Satan, “Have you considered my servant Job? There is no one on earth like him; he is blameless and upright, a man who fears God and shuns evil.” “Does Job fear God for nothing?” Satan replied. “Have you not put a hedge around him and his household and everything he has? You have blessed the work of his hands, so that his flocks and herds are spread throughout the land. But stretch out your hand and strike everything he has, and he will surely curse you to your face.” The LORD said to Satan, “Very well, then, everything he has is in your hands, but on the man himself do not lay a finger.” (Job 1:8-12)

Jeremiah suffered emotionally and cried out to God about his “incurable wound” (emotional):

Why is my pain unending and my wound grievous and incurable? (Jeremiah 15:18)

and even God’s beloved Son Jesus had to suffer and die on the Cross:

Although [Jesus] was a son, he learned obedience from what he suffered (Hebrews 5:8)

Finally, Peter tells his readers not to be surprised by suffering, implying that it is part of the Christian life:

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. (1 Peter 4:12)

First, then, we need to accept that this life generally includes suffering of one sort or another.

It helps us to endure suffering if we can see what the end result will be, like Job could, who wrote:

But [God] knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me,
I will come forth as gold. (Job 23:10)

According to James and Paul, what God works in us through suffering is so important that we can rejoice about our suffering:

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. (Romans 5:3-4)

Considering our suffering to be “pure joy” doesn’t mean that we must pretend that it does not hurt. It means that although we are in pain we recognize by faith that God is using it to achieve something good in our lives – and the lives of others too, perhaps. God can and will bring something good out of it, as Paul affirms:

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God (Romans 8:28)

“Considering suffering pure joy” also does not mean that we have to put a smile on our face when we are crying inside or that we do not need comfort and support at times. The pain is real, even if we know that it is for a good purpose. And it certainly is OK to express our pain to God (see “Be Honest”, below). Peter reassures us that the suffering will not last long:

And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen. (1 Peter 5:10-11)

Paul tells us that our suffering will be minor compared to the glory we will experience in eternity:

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. (Romans 8:18)

So, as the author of Hebrews says, let’s persevere, even in the midst of suffering, and not become discouraged:

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. (Hebrews 12:1-3)

Be Honest

It’s important to be honest with ourselves and with God about the pain. It’s OK to be in pain and to admit it. Life is painful sometimes. And it’s OK to cry out to God about it too. Even Jesus did that:

During the days of Jesus’ life on earth, he offered up prayers and petitions with loud cries and tears to the one who could save him from death, and he was heard because of his reverent submission. (Hebrews 5:7)

At the ninth hour Jesus cried out in a loud voice, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”–which means, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me ?” (Mark 6:34)

The Psalms provide us with wonderful reassurance that we can tell God all about the pain we are in. Here is one example:

O LORD, do not rebuke me in your anger
or discipline me in your wrath.
Be merciful to me, LORD, for I am faint;

O LORD, heal me, for my bones are in agony.

My soul is in anguish.
How long, O LORD, how long?
Turn, O LORD, and deliver me;
save me because of your unfailing love.

No one remembers you when he is dead.
Who praises you from the grave?
I am worn out from groaning;
all night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears. (Psalm 6:1-6)

David encourages us to pour out our hearts to God in another Psalm:

Trust in [God] at all times, O people;
pour out your hearts to him,

for God is our refuge. (Psalm 62:8)

God knows how we feel anyway, so we may as well be open about it when we talk to Him in prayer. It’s important for us to admit how much we need His comfort and reassurance that He loves us.

Self-Pity

There is a difference between being honest about pain and self-pity. We need to be careful to distinguish between the two. If we get so wrapped up in our own pain that all we can do is think about ourselves and our problems, then we have forgotten God’s power and promises and provision for us. As Paul learned, there is no need for self-pity because no matter what our circumstances are, God always provides us with the strength we need:

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:12-13)

We need to allow our pain to draw us into deeper dependence on God instead of withdrawing and shutting Him out. We need to see Him right in the midst of the pain, ready and willing to comfort us and sustain us. We need to bring our needs to Him instead of looking for help from other people or turning to substances or things which make us feel better in the short term but which are really substitutes for God, that keep us from being what He wants us to be.

Anger and Forgiveness

There are some Christians who justify something they refer to as “righteous anger”; but James warns us about man’s anger:

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. (James 1:19-20)

Ephesians 4:26 (quoted from Psalm 4:4) tells us “in your anger do not sin” but I personally have not found a way to continue to be angry without sinning. My anger seems always to be a self-defense mechanism, a way to deal with my own pain by blaming someone else. Well, that’s the plan but it doesn’t actually make me feel better; usually if I react in anger then I regret my actions later.

What works for me is to realize that my anger is an attempt to deal with pain and to ask God to help me to resist the temptation to deal with my pain that way. Instead I want to learn to let go of the anger and forgive the person, if it was a person who hurt me; and to take the pain directly to God. Even if a person deliberately has hurt me, God has allowed that and so it is better for me to go to God and express my frustration to Him rather than focus all my anger on the person. I’m not saying that we should never confront a person who hurt us; I believe in going to someone and trying to talk things through, when appropriate. But not while I’m still angry; that just escalates the situation. Only after I have prayed and given the anger to God and asked Him to help me respectfully tell the other person that they upset/offended me.

I haven’t been in a situation where I have been seriously abused. I know that it is hard to forgive in those circumstances. It may take a long time and it may need to be revisited if something triggers memories of the abuse all over again. Nevertheless it ought to be our goal, as Christians, because as Jesus said:

If you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:15)

I don’t believe this means that God will cast us off if we are having a hard time forgiving someone but it does mean that we ought to have forgiveness as our goal. Forgiving someone does not mean that you are excusing what they did; and it may not be appropriate for you to tell them you forgive them; sometimes it’s better to avoid all contact with those who have abused us. But it does mean letting go of the anger and asking God to change your heart concerning that person so that you no longer have thoughts of wanting to harm them in return for how they hurt you.

Fear And Worry

God wants us to trust Him so much that we can bring all our fears and worries to Him and leave them with Him, confident that He will take care of us. As Paul wrote:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:6-7)

John explains how the love of God can drive out our fears:

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. (1 John 4:18)

We need not be worried or afraid, according to these verses; all we need to do is to talk to God and believe that He is in control and will take care of us. If we are worrying then in effect we are allowing ourselves to think that God is incapable of, or doesn’t want to help us. Of course, neither of those are true, according to the Bible.

Guilt

John tells us that once we confess our sins to God He totally forgives us and cleanses us from them:

If we confess our sins, [God] is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

Any lingering feelings of guilt we have after we have confessed are “false guilt” and are not from God. If we have confessed all wrongdoing that God has brought to our attention, we need to believe Him that there is no longer a reason to feel guilty. If we think we must feel guilty for a while because we “deserve to” then in effect we are saying that Jesus’ death was not sufficient; we are dishonoring Him. Yet it was enough; because of His death we now have the righteousness of Jesus Christ and are holy and blameless in love before God, as these verses tell us:

God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:21)

For [God] chose us in [Jesus] before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight in love (Ephesians 1:4)

Since we have this standing before God in Jesus and through faith in Him, and once we have confessed any sin we know about to Him, we can reject any lingering guilty feelings and approach God in prayer with confidence:

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)

In [Jesus] and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. (Ephesians 3:12)

What We Think About

Let’s be careful what we think about. Paul explains here what we ought to think about:

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things. (Philippians 4:8)

We ought to be aware of whether we are telling ourselves things that are unhelpful and in fact untrue such as “I’ll never feel better” or “Everything is hopeless”. If that is what we are saying to ourselves all day, no wonder we feel bad. Rather than let such thoughts go through our mind unhindered, we should be testing every thought against Scripture. Paul wrote this to the Corinthians about how he dealt with each of his thoughts:

We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

In Ephesians 6 Paul wrote about the spiritual “armor” God has given us. Two pieces which help to protect our thoughts are the helmet of salvation and the belt of truth. Putting these on means trusting that God really has forgiven us our sins and reconciled us to Him and also filling our minds with what is true. Some very important truths we need to know are who we are in Christ and what amazing things God has done for us. A good place to start is the “Who Am I” list of Bible verses (this is on Neil Anderson’s web site; the URL is http://www.ficm.org/whoami.htm). When we notice that we are thinking negative thoughts we can remind ourselves of these encouraging truths instead. I’ve found that memorizing Scripture is a very effective way to address unhelpful thought patterns.

It’s OK To Be Weak

Paul wrote here about learning to delight in his weaknesses because he discovered God’s power was perfected in weakness:

To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:7-10)

Let your weaknesses be opportunities for God’s strength to be manifest in you. Remember that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us (Philippians 4:13). It’s also good to let other Christians help you. Don’t go to those who don’t understand depression but do choose one or two caring Christians who you can share your struggles with, who will pray for you and ask you how things are going. Paul and James encourage Christians to pray for each another and bear each others’ burdens:

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)

Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective. (James 5:16)

Being Thankful

Paul wrote this wonderful advice to the Thessalonians (1 Thess 5:19).

Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus. (1 Thessalonians 5:18)

It’s important to remind ourselves of specific things we are thankful to God for; that will have a very significant effect on how we are feeling.

Praise And Worship

It’s important for me to keep my eyes and thoughts fixed on Jesus and heavenly things rather than on myself and my problems:

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2)

Therefore, holy brothers, who share in the heavenly calling, fix your thoughts on Jesus, the apostle and high priest whom we confess. (Hebrews 3:1)

Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. (Colossians 3:2)

One of the most effective ways for me to get my perspective back and fix my eyes on Jesus again is to listen to worship music or read Bible passages in praise of God. When I do look at Jesus instead of me, the view is so much better! I can’t really overstate what a difference it makes in my outlook when I take time to praise God.

Our Personal Relationship With God

Each of us is unique in the exact way God planned us to be. His goal for Christians is not that we all become exactly the same but that we become more faithful, unique, representatives of Jesus. We might actually become more different from one another as God sets us free from our fears of “not fitting in” and enables us to do what He’s called and gifted us to do rather than what we think will make us accepted by others.

Since we are unique, our relationship with God is also. We need to find our own way of deepening our relationship with God. If the way we pray is not working, we should try something else until we find a way in which we are able to communicate with God. We also should not automatically believe everything other Christians say; rather, as Paul wrote: “Test everything. Hold on to the good.” (1 Thessalonians 5:20)

Our uniqueness gives each of us a slightly different perspective and furthermore, sin messes up our understanding of God. So none of us has “all the answers”, as Paul knew. In 1 Cor 13 he wrote that, in this life, we only “know in part” (verse 9) and we see “but a poor reflection as in a mirror”. What is important is that in spite of our imperfect knowledge, we keep seeking to get to know God better and to become more like Jesus.

Back to “For Christians In Pain”

• Christians And Compassion
• God And Our Emotional Healing

About God

• God Is Kind, Gentle And Sensitive
• God Cares About Our Pain
• God Is Always Listening
• God Values Us Highly
• God Has Promised That Things Will Get Better

How Shall We Live?

• Introduction
• Suffering
• Be Honest
• Self Pity
• Anger And Forgiveness
• Fear And Worry
• Guilt
• What We Think About
• Being Thankful
• Praise And Worship
• Our Personal Relationship With God

Further Reading

Introduction

Note: this is written for Christians, but anyone is welcome to read it, of course.

This page is about us and God, not about psychiatrists, therapy and/or medications. I’m not commenting here on whether they do or don’t work; my purpose is to encourage Christians to seek God in the midst of depression and other pain, whatever else they are doing to deal with the pain.

Christians And Compassion

I am concerned by the lack of compassion shown by many “Christians” towards those in pain. Such Christians fail to understand the depth and reality of emotional pain and what it does to people. They quote Bible verses, thinking that they are showing “love”; whereas true love is shown by taking the time to listen to someone in pain and cry with them, comfort them and pray with them and for them. It’s better not to say anything than to say something which sounds like you are minimizing a person’s pain.

Christians ought to be as sensitive as Jesus. These words written by Isaiah describe how gently Jesus treats those of us who could be described as a “bruised reed” or a “smoldering wick”:

A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. (Isaiah 42:3, also quoted in Matthew 12:20)

God And Our Emotional Healing

Having said that, I do believe that the Bible has much comfort and hope to offer those in pain. But a “band-aid” approach of trying to cover up our pain with Scriptures will not work. We need to ask God to show us the truth that will set us free. We need Him to reveal to us our misconceptions about Him which keep us from fully trusting Him and letting Him have control of every area of our lives. We need to learn how to depend on His strength and not our own. We need to believe what He has promised and learn to walk in faith, based on those promises. God is not primarily concerned with our outward behavior (although He does care very much about how we treat other people). He wants to deal with our hearts, to change us within. No matter how secure our defenses against other people may be, God is already inside those walls which we have built to keep other people from seeing who we really are. So we may as well accept that He knows all our sins and weaknesses already and loves us anyway, and has called us into relationship with Him despite all of those things. It is very comforting, once we get used to it, that we can never surprise God by the extent of our sin or failure, since He already knows and accepted us and loves us anyway.

I divided my thoughts into a section about God and a section about what our response ought to be, given our relationship to Him (to get to these sections, click on one of the next two titles).

About God

How Shall We Live?

Further Reading

“The Inner Voice Of Love” by Henri Nouwen has been helpful to me; it is his notes written to himself as he was recovering from an emotional breakdown. In it he writes about how God’s love sets us free to love others in an appropriate way. I like everything I have read by Henri Nouwen, yet this book has been especially meaningful to me. I also like Larry Crabb’s books. In “Inside Out” he talks about the need for us to be honest about the pain and suffering we do encounter in this world, and that we must let it drive us to God instead of looking for comfort from the world or by denying the pain. I also like “Connecting” very much, which explains that we can help each other to heal and grow in Christ by connecting with one another and allowing God’s Spirit to minister through us to others.

I have listened to many of the call-in shows of the people who run the New Life Clinics (their URL is http://www.newlife.com/) and read some of their books. I find their advice very helpful, especially their comments about the need for Christians to have healthy relationships with other Christians and to go through a sort of “grieving” process over all the major disappointments in our lives such as being let down by people who have significant roles in our lives and when our dreams that don’t come true. The names of these authors are Henry Cloud, John Townsend, Steven Arterburn and Paul Meier.

I have heard good things about “When God Doesn’t Make Sense” by James Dobson and “Where Is God When It Hurts” by Philip Yancey. I have read other books by them and appreciated them but not those specific books.

If you want to read something funny which will take your mind off the pain for a little while, my favorite humorous Christian book (and in my view there are too few humorous Christian books around, making this even more special) is “The Sacred Diary Of Adrian Plass aged 37 ¾” by Adrian Plass. This is a British book; it is supposed to be in print in the US by Zondervan, or you could order it online from a British bookstore such as Blackwell’s. (Make sure you get the original; there is also a sequel with the same title except he is now aged 45 ½ – that is good too but read the original first!)

Much of what I have learned about practical ways to deal with situations in daily life in a Christlike way comes from Mary Whelchel, who has a ministry named The Christian Working Woman (the URL is http://www.christianworkingwoman.org/).

God Is Kind, Gentle and Sensitive

I don’t hear Christians talking about these attributes of God as much as I would like. Yet God’s kindness is one of His attributes much talked about in the Old Testament. When God passed by Moses, to show Moses His glory (in response to Moses’ request), God said these words about Himself:

“The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. (Exodus 34:6-7)

In the New Testament, Paul points out that it is God’s kindness that leads us to repentance: Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness leads you toward repentance? (Romans 2:4)

We do see from the Bible that God gets angry but instead of worrying about that we need to understand when He gets angry and who He gets angry with. When He spoke to Moses He also said He was slow to anger (see quote above from Exodus 34:6-7). David made this interesting statement about God:

To the faithful you show yourself faithful,
to the blameless you show yourself blameless,
to the pure you show yourself pure,
but to the crooked you show yourself shrewd. (2 Samuel 22:26-27)

This implies that God’s treatment of us reflects the way we treat others. Those of us who are kind to others will be treated the same way by God. God is not “angry” with those of us who are in pain. There may be sin in our lives that He wants to show us but He will do it in a kind and gentle way. John explains in his gospel that Jesus has shown us what God the Father is like:

No one has ever seen God, but God the One and Only [Jesus], who is at the Father’s side, has made him known. (John 1:18)

So, studying the life of Jesus is a good way to know God better. It’s important to realize that Jesus did not treat everyone the same way. In general Jesus was kind and compassionate towards people; it was only with the religious leaders that He was confrontational and stern. And Jesus had good reason: the leaders were supposed to be teaching the people about God and leading them to Him and they were not. So when you study the life of Jesus, look at how he treated the poor, the sick and the defenseless. There are specific mentions of Jesus’ gentleness. One of them, astonishingly, is a prophecy made by Zechariah about what the King (Jesus) would be like when He comes:

Rejoice greatly, O Daughter of Zion! Shout, Daughter of Jerusalem! See, your king comes to you, righteous and having salvation, gentle and riding on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey. (Zechariah 9:9)

Jesus also says of Himself that He is humble and gentle:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

This verse from Isaiah (which I quoted in the introduction)tells us about Jesus’ sensitivity towards those in pain:

A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out. (Isaiah 42:3, also quoted in Matthew 12:20)

Many Old Testament passages speak of God’s sensitivity. He is genuinely grieved when we ignore Him or let other things in our life be more important than Him. In Genesis we read about how grieved God was by the way people were thinking and acting:

The LORD saw how great man’s wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. The LORD was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain. (Genesis 6:5-6)

Unlike us, God has no sin (in 1 John 1:5 we read “God is light: in him there is no darkness at all“) so He never overreacts towards us as a protective mechanism. He always loves us and always wants the best for us and His actions towards us are never “retaliatory”. Christians often fail to be gentle and kind to others because we are all selfish by nature, but God has no selfishness in Him. So, He is kinder and gentler with us than we are to each other. Remember that God is kinder and gentler than the kindest human you know, and don’t be afraid of letting Him in to the most hidden parts of your life. He is already there anyway: we cannot hide from His Spirit, as this Psalm explains:

Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast. (Psalm 139:7-10)

God Cares About Our Pain

The author of Hebrews explains that Jesus understands us and can help us because He has suffered and been tested just like we have. Therefore we’re encouraged to bring our needs to God in prayer with confidence:

Because [Jesus] himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted. (Hebrews 2:18)

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16)

Whatever pain we’re experiencing, Jesus has experienced it too and He understands. God does not trifle with our emotions. If He is allowing us to suffer there is a reason, just as there was when His own Son Jesus suffered and died on the Cross. God does not willingly allow us to suffer, as the following verse from Lamentations tells us:

For [the Lord] does not willingly bring affliction or grief to the children of men. (Lamentations 3:33)

We are told in Psalm 56:8 that God keeps all our tears in a bottle – He notices every one:

You number my wanderings;
Put my tears into Your bottle;
[Are] [they] not in Your book?
(Psalm 56:8, New King James Version)

When we are in pain God is not somewhere else – He’s right there with us. In this Psalm David affirms that God is with us to comfort and guide us even in the “valley of the shadow of death”:

Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me. (Psalm 23:4)

God, being sensitive and compassionate and being right there with us when we suffer, feels our pain and shares it. We see Jesus sharing the pain of Mary and Martha when he wept at Lazarus’s tomb:

When Jesus saw [Mary] weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled. “Where have you laid him?” he asked. “Come and see, Lord,” they replied. Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, “See how he loved him!” (John 11:33-35)

David tells us in this Psalm that God is close to the broken-hearted:

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

God Is Always Listening

Sometimes we long to have the opportunity to talk to someone (human) who will really listen to us and care about us. That is not always possible, but we need to remember that God is always available to listen to us, and unlike humans, we always have His full attention. He is never distracted and He will never cut us short on time because He has something more important to do ! So go to Him when you need to talk to someone; it takes more effort than talking with a human, perhaps, but what could be more special than being able to talk to the God of the Universe? My personal experience is that when I am patient, God does answer me (not in a way I can easily explain – but I am different because I spent time with Him).

God Values Us Highly

Jesus said that we’re of great value to God; so much so that He’s counted every hair on our head:

Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. (Matthew 10:29-30)

As we read in Ephesians, God chose us in Jesus before the foundation of the world to know Him and be in His family forever:

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will–to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. (Ephesians 1:3-6)

God Has Promised That Things Will Get Better

One day God will do this for all of us who belong to Him:

[God] will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away. (Revelation 21:4)

We need to hold on to this promise when it seems like the pain will never end. Paul gives us hope in the midst of suffering by pointing out that not only will our suffering in this life seem like nothing in comparison to the eternal glory which we will experience afterwards, but also that our suffering now is what is achieving the glory to come:

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us. (Romans 8:18)

Again, our suffering is not without purpose; nothing is wasted. Everything difficult God allows us to go through is for a reason (I will discuss some of God’s purposes in our suffering in the next section: “How Shall We Live?“.

Continue to “How Shall We Live?”; Back to “For Christians In Pain“.