There certainly are things I observe in my children which I would like to emulate. I love their spontaneity – their ability to focus on the moment in hand and to enjoy it. Children focus on what they are doing – they don’t get distracted by anxiety about tomorrow or yesterday’s failures or mistakes. Children don’t worry; they assume we’ll take care of them and trust us to do so. Although we do have responsibilities and do need to plan ahead to some extent, how many of us go beyond that and get caught up in worrying about the future? Jesus said that we ought not to worry about tomorrow because God – who is our Heavenly Father – knows what we need and will take care of us. I would like to “live in the moment” as much as my young children do.

Another thing I like about children is that they are free from pretense and prejudices. You don’t have to wonder what they are really thinking, when they tell you something! It is obvious whether they are happy or upset about something. They don’t have prejudices which prevent them from enjoying other people for who they are.

Perhaps this is just my children, but another thing I’ve noticed is that they are cheerful and optimistic. They don’t get up thinking “Oh no, this is going to be a terrible day!” And they make the most of their opportunities, which means that they help themselves to have the best day possible (sometimes at our expense…!) As I said above, yesterday’s failures don’t stay in their minds long; they pick themselves up and try again – and probably succeed this time, because of their persistence.

I hope that I can regain some of the spontaneity, trust, openness, optimism and persistence that I see in my children. I think that to the extent I can, I will enjoy my job as a Mom even more and my children will enjoy me more in turn. And perhaps I will be a little more like God wants me to be, too.

Esther, my seven month old daughter, spent one night in hospital last week. She went to the emergency room at lunch time because a croup virus had made her airways swollen and narrow and breathing was a big effort for her.

There are times when I wonder whether I have any Mom instincts but this experience brought mine out in full force! I quickly noticed that Esther was breathing without too much difficulty when she was relaxed, but as soon as she became upset, breathing was a big effort again. Consequently I wanted her to relax and rest as much as possible, and I realized that the best thing I could do for her was to hold her, comfort her and help her to sleep in spite of the unfamiliar surroundings, the scary tests and the frequent waking at night for routine checks.

When I realized that Esther was going to stay in hospital overnight, I briefly considered going home for part of the night so I could rest. But I’m so glad that I didn’t leave her alone in the hospital. I was pleased to be able to help her to sleep, and I made that my first priority, at the expense of my own rest. Esther’s need for my comfort that night was so much greater than my need for sleep. And I’m sure that it was the comfort and love of someone familiar that helped Esther to recover enough to go home the next day.

When we set our own needs aside to show love to our sick children, we help them to recover as fast as possible and, I hope, they see in us a little glimpse of the One who is love.

I also want to parent by grace, not by law. I don’t want to rule over my children like a tyrant, although I do need them to understand that there are times when they must do as I say. I want to have fun with them and be their friend, as well as their Mom. I want to be able to break my own rules sometimes and not enforce punishment, if I see that they are really having a hard day. I often hear things to the effect, “If you are not consistent with your children, they will not listen to you”. Perhaps, but I tend to think that children will test their boundaries whether you enforce them 90% or 100% of the time (isn’t this their favorite thing to do?)

I hope that I will be humble and kind enough to admit my mistakes to my children and say “sorry” to them if I need to (ouch!) It is often said that children get their ideas about God from what their parents are like. I hope that I can give my children an idea of the kindness and love of God, by the way I treat them, yet at the same time resist the temptation to act as God in their lives. In a mysterious way, they are my “brother and sister in Christ” and they deserve respect as such. May God help me to be the parent He wants me to be, but also to remember, when I make mistakes, that I am “not under law, but grace”.

Love: holding my daughter for the first time in hospital, after a three-hour wait that seems like eternity.

Joy: watching my son unwrap his birthday presents

Peace: sitting quietly nursing my daughter, watching her drift off to sleep.

Patience: waiting for my son to finish what he’s doing, time permitting, instead of inflicting my agenda on him.

Goodness: taking my children to the zoo because they will enjoy it, even though I don’t feel like it.

Kindness: sitting my son on my lap and reading to him although his whining makes me feel like running away!

Faithfulness: continuing to look after my children despite feeling totally unappreciated! Yet another dirty diaper…

Gentleness: being respectful of my children, rather abusing my authority over them.

Self-control: not “losing it” when I “discipline” my children, so that I have nothing to regret later

Our lives will get out of balance unless we remember that we really can encounter God through the everyday frustrations and pleasures of motherhood. Jesus taught that whatever we do for children, we are doing for Him.